Typewritten

Most of us spend our lives searching for something.  Anything. One thing.

Nervous, unsettled, given to some fashionable philosophy or the other like leaves in the wind.

I fancy myself a garden variety thinker, perhaps with the mental fortitude to understand myself in the grand context of the world and life and God.  Perhaps not. I focus regularly on the concept of hope, for my belief system relies heavily on it.  I thought I understood that hope meant looking to the future, leaving room for the possible, the potential in the things to come.

It is that.

But there’s more, I think.

If I’ve learned anything recently, it’s that hope is confined, not by the future or by time in general, but by nothing.  It is boundless and accessible.  My heart has been restless of late, for good reason.  Surprisingly, however, I find myself at peace.

Hope in the present, that not only is my future secure, but the space and time that I currently occupy can be a better space and time.

Hope in the past, that good will turn to better, and bad will turn to lessons learned.

I once worked with a man would always answer the question “how are you?” by saying “better than yesterday.”  What a peculiar response.  When questioned as to why yesterday was so bad, he would say “it wasn’t, I just try to get a little bit better every day.”

Perhaps that’s as good a definition as any of the realization of hope.

And perhaps the search will never be fully satisfied.

And perhaps that’s okay.

worth ¹ (wûrth)

n.

I have been in church all of my life.  I’m fairly certain that my mother has been lying to me all these years when she says I was born in a hospital.  It was probably a church pew in all actuality.

I cannot remember living a life that did not have me in church at a minimum of two days a week… usually more, to be quite honest.”

While this sort of upbringing has its advantages, it has brought me to a point of great doubt and decision several times in my life.  I wonder about all of the things that I have merely accepted as fact, without actually figuring them out for myself.  I wonder about the ins-and-not-ofs that we can’t seem to get our head around.  I wonder about the people who seem to have an immediate “radical conversion” experience, in which they seem to be completely different people overnight.  I wonder why I doubt these stories.  I wonder how many times Jesus wants to tell me how much I’m missing the point. I wonder…

The thing about wondering is that you often wind up wandering.  And I do. I wander down strange patterns of thought and arrive at even stranger destinations.  So let’s find our way back to the highway and direct our thoughts for a second.

So here’s the thing.

Jesus once said that anyone who wants to follow Him must take up his cross and follow Him and that whoever wants to find his life will lose it but whoever loses their life for His sake will find it.

What does that even mean, take up my cross?

The cross was a hideous, blood-soaked torture machine.  It was, by far, the cruelest form of capital punishment that the world has yet seen (on a side note, I have a theory that that is part of the reason that Jesus came to Earth when he did… to endure the maximum pain and punishment possible, so as to say “there is nothing worse that I could have endured for you.”  But then, who really knows?…  I’m perfectly content to be proven wrong).

So really then Jesus, what’s up?  Did you come to give me “life to the full” or did you come to put a cross on my back?

Could it be that it’s by the latter which we receive the former?

We use this language in church like Jesus is meant to be our friend and someone who will be there to hold our hand and to mop up the tears when things are shitty.  And I think that He is that… but He is so much more.  He is ferocious. He is a Lion.  He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  He is majestic and He is beautiful.  He is incomprehensible.  In Him, through Him, and for Him are all things.  He is the One to whom every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord.  He. Is. God.  Nothing less.

C.S. Lewis once said, “I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.’ That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”

So then, Jesus requires a choice.  Either pick up the cross.  Or don’t.

I find that I need to pick up that disgusting, blood-drenched, and beautiful cross… because while picking that thing up is actually painful and I find more of myself is lost to it every day, I’m finding freedom and beauty in every day that is indescribable.

So that is my radical conversion.  It’s been going on for twenty-two years and I don’t see any sign of being content exactly where I am.

Well, here we are.
It’s been a lovely ride, 2009, but as we say goodbye, and usher in a new decade, I will continue my tradition and write a letter to the new year.
I started this in 2007, and I thought that this may be a good way to re-enter the world of blogging.

So, 2010, I have some expectations of you.
I expect that you will be good to me.
I expect that you will be a year of clarity and well-defined purpose.
I expect that you will be productive.
I expect you to be prosperous.

That said, I will do my part.
I plan to dive headlong into you with passion and vigor.
I plan to not take a moment of you for granted.
I plan to leave more of myself behind every one of your 365 days.

So, do we have an agreement then?

I found a webzine today that I really like.  I like the concept.  I like the design.  I like the way it is written.   It’s called staythirstymedia.com

music.art.justice.media.fashion.culture.   all rolled into one.

I’ll let them tell you a bit more about who they are.  This is the manifesto from the website.

“(Chicago, IL) – In a small section of concrete where Chicago’s Schiller and Wells streets intersect lies a manifesto so inconspicuous that people walk over it every day blind to the power beneath their feet.  The etching reads “Stay Thirsty.”  This inscription inspires an insatiable rock n’ roll lifestyle and is the guiding tenet behind the publication, Thirsty, which launched in September 2006.

“The founders of this magazine are driven by passion and a ‘thirst’ for knowledge,” said J.D. Wilkes.  “However, they carry a torch for a much more profound reason than just simple curiosity.  Theirs is a special mission to carry on a great legacy; to cherish the fragility of life and chronicle both its nuances and its extremes.  Stay Thirsty!”

“Stay Thirsty” is more than an idea.  It is a call to arms.  Founded on the philosophy of Ryan Licht Sang, a shining young musician, artist and writer who passed away at the age of 24, “stay thirsty for life” is Thirsty’s clarion call to shine a spotlight on creativity in all forms from around the world.

Operating from a truly virtual platform, Thirsty’s grasp starts at street level and continues underneath, where the most deserving music, art and writing resides. Thirsty’s pull draws upon the insights, impressions, opinions and expertise of its artists without regard for convention.

We invite you to slip beneath the cracked cement of society’s streets and discover the pulse of the underground.

We invite you to Stay Thirsty.

Thirsty
www.staythirsty.com

xxx”

So there ya go.  Stay thirsty everyone.

Ok, so working as a waiter for the last 10 months or so has given a bit of insight into the hospitality industry. I hear people complain about service at different restaurants and such all the time, and I believe that such bad experience is easily avoided. If you simply practice the following 10 things, I believe that you can cause your service at your favorite restaurant, cafe, bar, pub, tavern, or coffee shop to be infinitely better…. ready? here we go.

10. smile and say hello.
seriously, it makes all the difference in the world. If you look happy, we will want to hang out with you and want to keep you that way. If you’re grumpy, we just assume that you’re a miserable person and/or that you want to be left alone.

9. make a reservation.
if you are planning on eating somewhere, call and make a reservation, even if you could just walk in. when you place a booking, it shows that you have taken the time to make this a priority in your day. in our mind, we then automatically want to take good care of you, because you didn’t just wander in off the street, you chose, in advance to come to our restaurant. therefore, we want you to be happy with that decision.

8. don’t tell us about your problems.
we’re there to get you good food and good drink and to have a good time. not to be your shrink. plus, you are not the only table in the place. i promise.

7. do not ask ridiculous questions.
please do ask questions (we like feeling really smart when we know the answers). please, just make them relevant. I promise, as much as your waiter knows about the menu, he/she will not be able to enlighten you as to what type of soil that the rocket salad was grown in.

6. know what you want.
there is nothing worse than being enthusiastically waved over to a table and being told that they are ready to order and then standing there for 10 minutes while some indecisive person goes ‘oh my, it all looks good…’ However, it’s fair play if you have it narrowed down to a couple dishes and have a question about one or two of them to determine which you will get. please at least have some idea though, before you wave us down like the world is ending.

5. do not, under any circumstance, complain about the way a dish/drink has been prepared after you have eaten/drank half or more of it.
if you do this, we will assume that you are a greedy person and are simply trying to get stuff for free. this does not fly.

4. have fun with your wait staff.
your waiter really does want to talk to you, joke with you, and have a good laugh (if not, then he/she is in the wrong field). Plus, if we have a good time together, then we have connected on a level deeper than just taking your order, which makes us want to keep you happy.

3. tell us things that we need to know.
‘things’ would include the following:
- ‘oh, i needed this gluten free’
- ‘oh, i’m lactose intolerant’
- ‘oh, we were getting that to share’
- ‘oh, i’m allergic to ______ ‘
all of the above and many more are good to know BEFORE we have the kitchen/bar make your dish/drink. we want to help you, but it’s easier the first time (chefs HATE making a dish twice)

2. do not be weird.
things that are ‘weird’ include the following:
-stalking.
-excessive hitting on. especially if your waiter is female. she may laugh, but trust me, she doesn’t actually appreciate it.
-ordering food that’s not on the menu
-excessive awkwardness and/or not talking at all.

1. TIP WELL
If your service was good, your drinks were good, and your food was good, then bloody hell people, reward your waiter for this! He/she will remember this the next time he/she sees you. And you are by no means limited to 10-15 percent.

Now I realize that sometimes you just get a crap waiter. in that case, there’s nothing you can do but pick a new restaurant. but if your wait staff are at all worth their salt, and you do the above 10 things, then you will get stellar service every time.

happy dining!

Dear 2009,

I distinctly remember writing letters to your younger siblings, ’08 and ’07.   Therefore, I decided that it would only be appropriate that I do the same for you.  2008 saw me through quite a few changes.  In fact, if I could describe this past year in a word, that’s the one I would use.  Change.  I moved to a new continent (and have lived in 4 places since i moved here).  I’ve left relationships behind and seen them arrive.   I’ve found myself pushing new boundaries creatively.  And I like it.   The only thing constant is that I’ve been growing.

And as long as I keep making some sort of forward progress, then I’m satisfied.  Leaps and bounds, or little steps.  Either way, it works for me.

So, ’09, I’m going to keep on going into familiar seas and uncharted waters.  Please be kind.

Most sincerely,

Joshua David